Thursday, February 28, 2008

100 bucks to save an hour...

After owning a two-wheeler, I was thinking about how to deal with a traffic police if he tries to stop me and do all nonsense. I have managed to get a learner's license before buying my two-wheeler. Though I am a decently good rider, I am a little skeptical about my managerial skills on road, particularly at the signal points. Whenever there is a traffic police, I used to avoid eye contact with him and try to look more experienced and careless about his existence. Of course, I found this to be useful, because whenever he picked up some random victims, I was not there among them. Finally, I had my first encounter last weekend. It all happened due to my fat-friend who has wrongly instructed me to take a right turn at Sancheti Hospital junction. I found nobody taking right turn at that junction, so paused for a while before coming to a decision. Meanwhile, the traffic constable, having an eye on me, waved me his hand. Having wrongly interpreting that hand signal, I took a right turn. That made the fish directly fall in the net.

C1=constable1, C2=constable2, G=our good old author.
Let me put the conversation in English for convenience.

constable(C): ^%*^(_)(_)*^#^$%&((*)(&^^*%*&^*(_) (he is speaking something in Marathi)
G: Hindi or English please.
C1: No right turn here... park your vehicle aside.
G: (puzzled***) But, I didn't take right turn. You only motioned me to come this way!!!
C1: Show me the lisence.
G: I have recently given my driving test. I am expecting it soon. Here is the receipt.
C1: (taken the receipt, confirming his earning from me) Yeah, this will do.
G: Hey, come on... I didn't take turn on my own, you misdirected me.
C1: Do you think I am mentally retarded to direct you wrongly. Come, and talk to our inspector.
G: Uff... **parks the vehicle aside and headed towards C2**
C2: What's your name?
G: That's written on the license receipt!!!
C2: that's smart. Don't you know right turn is not allowed here.
G: I know, but your constable only misdirected me to here.
C2: Is he mental to do so?
G: You should be knowing this!
C2: Do you have PUC certificate?
G: Here it is!!!
C2: When did you take this?
G: that's written on the certificate!!! I don't have time. tell me how much you want. I will pay and go!!!
C2: This PUC is expired. You have to pay 800 rupees as fine for this.
G: I know that PUC's validity is for six months. and, it is only 5 months old.
C2: No, now it is seventh month after your PUC is issued.
G: *gurrrrrr* Come on, months and their count don't change for your convenience.
C2: *pretends to be counting his fingers* no, already seventh month is running.
G: *Let me show you, idiot* Here is the list of months names in order. Now, agree that my PUC is still valid.
C2: What's your name?
G: *fuming* this is second time you are asking me this question!!!
C2: Look mister, fine for wrong turn is 600 rupees.
G: That's smart. I know, I didn't commit a mistake. Tell me how much you want now?
C2: 200.
G: No, 100..
C2: OK, let me accept this for now.
G: Can I take right turn now???
C2: You can do anything now...
G: *I wish I have the power to slap you once*

Cursing my fat-friend for wrong directions and scolding myself for blindly following constable's hand-signals, I left the place (obviously, in the wrong direction). Still, I feel that I've managed it pretty well. Because, I was on my way to HSBC bank for paying credit card bill, failing which I will be charged at least 500 rupees as interest!!!

PS: Moral of the story, when you are caught by traffic constable, don't hesitate to bargain as quickly as possible. Because, the climax of this kinda story will almost always leads to paying bribe to this guy!! May god bless our country!!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

musings of a loony bachelor...

what does a working lonely bachelor do during weekends? sleeps for long hours, to escape from the loneliness that surrounds due to lack or work and company... eats restaurant food, trying something different, only to discover that there are worse things in life... cleans the room if it is unbearably disorganized, of course, only to get it disorganized again in few hours... washes cloths if they are stinking too much... makes food on his own (that includes great task of mixing hot water into those countless instant mixes), and get bored of that too... tries wearing new dresses although the wardrobes are already stuffed to 200% of their capacity... does lot of work outs, to look fit and healthy... watches sunrise, sunset, full-moon and those beautiful stars... and yes, the bird-watching session too...

huh, the list never ends... but, the underlying fact is that "no matter how much/many other things we possess/pursue, life is always boring without somebody to share with"

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines day

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.

Source: ~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music.