Programming blues - Random thoughts #1

Being a computational researcher, most of our time is spent in writing programs. When we do a thing repeatedly or for a long time, our thought process and henceforth the ideas get moulded in that language. Here are some such random things!

1. When I see people, there are different kinds of smiles. If smile is considered as base class, cunning_smile, deceiving_smile, healthy_smile, encouraging_smile, lifeless_smile etc. are the derived classes. When I think like this, I am involuntarily giving a gentle_smile.

2. When I want to get up early in the morning, I put my alarm into an infinite for loop, with 10 minutes as snoozing time. Of course, the loop will be ultimately broken by my wife. How it's broken depends on many factors, though ;-)

3. Whenever (most of the times) I don't feel like going for jogging, I comment that activity for the day.

4. When I am preoccupied with too many things, I tend to forget certain things. I blame this on insufficient memory, and give a segmentation fault. There can be unexpected response due to uncleared cache etc.

5. Most often, I take too long to boot up in the morning.

6. Few things like washing clothes, arranging house etc. are simply declared in the program, but never defined or executed!

7. Improper allocation of resources (like time, money etc.) will lead to the decreased efficiency of the program (life)!

Now, this is being terminated due to insufficient time!

this is how one can kill time (of others)!!!

nimoi thai, kal blaz surm dianz!!! plai triu kloptambas lalab?? moshi kalai surmi vebli grai dol... wina kolpi mentdz indei :-) u kibr tiy, thal sum grani slay? nil kolpi thai triu kloptambas vebli.

anybody knows what this means? even I don't know... on one of those boring occasions, I got this idea through aprilslady and thought that I should give it a try... I have typed whatever I feel like... but, I have taken care to include punctuation marks here and there to deceive people... Out of 16 people I sent this mail, eight people have replied... in different ways!!!

Surya: baboi .......... entidhi emi ardham kaledhu :D (Oy my god... what is this? I didn't understand anything!!!) ha hha, it seems he didn't understand that this is a joke...

Girish: what is this? what happened? he is always too bothered about my mental health :-(

Deepika: eee baasha enti babu?????? (what's this language dude?) that's typical Deepika's response!!!

Arun: Hai Gopal, I tried to crack this but not at all useful. First thru Google translater and then second after rearranging... What is this first anyway?? Tell me some hint to crack this... that's how IISc scientists try to solve everything under the earth, no matter whether the solution exists or not!!!

Uday: entidi?? (what is this?) looks like he is annoyed with this confusing message!!!

Sivaram: this is too good!!! Siva always takes any new thing with a positive attitude!!!

Deepa: didnt understand anything :( tell me which language Deepa is too keen in learning foreign languages these days... looks like my experiment has aroused some enthusiasm in her!!!

Aarthi: helo.. what language is this?something wrong with u!! huh, yet another person who is suspecting my mental health!!!

I think the rest of the people might have thought it was one of those junk mails they receive every day... or they are too busy to give it a try... or they are too scared to ask for what it really means :-)

life can be funny...

the other day, some X was talking to me... this is to know how wild guesses could be...

X: sooooo, you are miste...r Krissshnaa???
G: no, I am Gopal...
X: oh... I thought you must be Krishna... sooooo, you have finissshed your doo..ctorate???
G: no, I did my masters...
X: oooh... masters innnnn compu..ter science???
G: no, masters in chemical engineering...
X: oooh... ok ok... sooooo, yoooou did your masters from IITB???
G: no, I did from IISc...
X: soooo... you went to masters after sommmmmme work experience???
G: no, I went directly after my undergrad...
X: soooo... you must be from UP... right???
G: no, I am from AP...
X: ooooh... i thought you are from UP... sooo, where in AP???
G: Kakinada
X: Kakinada??? it is near Hyderabad... right???
G: nooooo... it is near Visakhapatnam...
X: ooooh... Visakhapatnam is in AP???
G: hmmm... one of the beautiful cities of the state!!!
X: ok Gopal.... if you have any doubts, you can come to me for clarifications...
G: sure... i will come to you anytime if i have doubts...
X: no... not any time, but sometimes!!!

ufff... there ends the conversation ;-)

five minutes with Mr.M...

Mr.G was sitting on the steps beside the walkway near his hostels... he is looking a little gloomy and pondering over something... he saw Mr.M walking towards him and waved his hand... and, here goes the conversation between the two...

Mr.M: hi G, what r u doing here?
Mr.G: feeling bored man... i don't know what to do (sounding really sad)
Mr.M: OK! answer this... there are five bananas and an elephant... but the elephant is not eating those bananas... why?
Mr.G: (thought for a while to find few of the infinite set of possibilities) may be the elephant is not feeling hungry!
Mr.M: no... you are wrong... the bananas are not real... they are plastic!
Mr.G: Oh!
Mr.M: OK then... let's suppose that the bananas are real this time... but, still the elephant is not eating those... why?
Mr.G: (trying to give a clever answer this time) May be the elephant is still thinking that those are plastic...
Mr.M: you are again wrong... this time, the elephant is plastic...
Mr.G: oh, come on... this is cheating!!!
Mr.M: OK then, this time both elephant and bananas are real... but, still the elephant is not eating those bananas... why?
Mr.G: (going back to his first answer) this time, the elephant is not hungry... this should be the correct answer, at least...
Mr.M: again, you are wrong... this time, the elephant is in TV and the bananas are on the table... huh huh...
Mr.G: oh man, you are incredible...
Mr.M: OK then, this time both the elephant and the bananas are inside TV... but, still the elephant is not eating those bananas... why?
Mr.G: (he is very much serious about answering the question correctly) may be the picture is shot like that, and the director of the movie has given the elephant enough food so that it keeps away from the bananas... (G is feeling relieved thinking that his lengthy answer could be right!)
Mr.M: why did you think it so complicated? after all, the bananas and the elephant are in different channels.
Mr.G: oops! you are mind blowing!!! (cursing M inside)
Mr.M: OK then, this time both the elephant and the bananas are inside TV and on the same channel... but, still the elephant is not eating the bananas... why?
Mr.G: (growing impatient but still trying to give a correct answer) the TV might be put on pause!
Mr.M: No... you are again wrong... the TV is actually switched off!
Mr.G: Oho... i couldn't answer even a single question of yours... let me ask you a similar question..
Mr M: that sounds like a good idea, carry on!
Mr.G: there are four elephants swimming in a pool... an enthusiastic person like Mr.M dived into the water and counted the legs... but, the total came out to be twelve... how is it possible?
Mr.M: (thought for a while and answers) may be the elephants are a special kind having only three legs each!
Mr.G: you are wrong! one of the elephants is doing backstroke!
Mr.M: no, this is cheating... how can an elephant backstroke?
Mr.G: when elephants can actually go and swim in a pool, why can't one of those do backstroke? it is equally possible.
Mr.M: hmm... okay! i agree...
Mr.G: (smiles his way) chalo then, it's time for a tea... let's to go gymcafe!

PS: Finally, Mr.G understood that "when you are actually bored, you need somebody like Mr.M to chat with".