hassle-free traffic... a dream!

I have been living in Pune since ten months... as I expressed my first feelings towards this city, this is one of the badly polluted city with complete failure at public transport system and poorly maintained roads... Within last ten months, I could see there is tremendous number of vehicles added to the already choked traffic... mostly the roads are occupied with four-wheelers... When I was doing my graduation in Visakhapatnam, commutation was really really comfortable... there are good number of buses, running from everywhere to everywhere and the buses were maintained very clean!!! But, here the situation is quite different and we are never sure of boarding a bus where comfortable journey is assured! almost all buses are over-crowded with people hanging from foot-boards!!!

With international prices already touching a dreadful $130 per barrel, owing and maintaining a personal vehicle is already becoming a luxury... it is highly unimaginable to think about how a common man can survive this scenario... I think, we can solve this problem if we can impose/follow certain simple rules!

Firstly, there should be a well-organized public transport system in all cities... If some company/institute is having more than a fixed number of employees, they should provide commutation facility at reduced prices... this will not seriously impact their overall profits and at the same time, can increase the productivity due to the regularized timings of employees!

Secondly, four-wheeler vehicles should be heavily taxed for using most of the space on the roads... If you can observe for an hour or so, standing at a traffic junction, more than 80% of the cars are seated with only one passenger... imagine, how much space and fuel will be saved if 60 cars are replaced with one bus!

Thirdly, subsidy on petrol should be strictly removed... of course, this may come as a blow to all two-wheelers and most of the four-wheelers... Since no public organization is solely depending on petrol and most of the petrol use is for personal use, there is no point in giving petrol at subsidized price!

Fourthly, a well-organized road-routes would be a good solution... if the routes are organized to streamline heavy vehicles, public vehicles, and personal vehicles, according to the traffic statistics, most of the traffic congestion can be overcome! just building flyovers is not a solution, but building them effectively in less time at the correct locations is more important!

I often dream of a place... where the roads are maintained really clean... traffic rules are followed strictly... there is a clean and well-organized public transport system... and people of all classes of the society use buses instead of personal vehicles for reaching offices! I wish I can see this dream gettig materialized before I leave this planet!

chivariki migiledi?

Lately, I have not been watering my plant in the blogger's park... Except regular visits to see how others are grooming theirs, I didn't contribute much to this beautiful place... Though it's only three weeks after my engagement, I have been observing a lot of changes, both personally and professionally, in my life... I will leave all those details to later posts... For time being, I will share with you a good old telugu novel, namely CHIVARIKI MIGILEDI (which means, "what'll be left ultimately"), by Buchi babu, written in late 1940's...

The story is all about an idealist, caught with so many unanswered questions about life... He is constantly under distress, puzzled by the enigmatic rules of love, hatred, people, society and life in general... Of course, there is no proportion of breathtaking excitement or sexual enthrallment in this novel... what really impressed me is the way the author has portrayed the roles... There are numerous thoughtful statements in the novel, like: "Marriage is like a maze, those who are outside try to go inside, and those who are inside will try to go outside", "The fallen leaf, and the thirsty crow teach me philosophy", "when you don't know what you really want, you will develop hatred. At the end, even the realization that you don't need anything will abolish that hatred".

So, what's left ultimately? those who know how to read telugu, and are patient enough to go through those countless number of philosophical paragraphs, can read the novel... and those who can't read telugu, nor have the patience, may know the truth by experiencing and analyzing their real life!

EARTHLINGS!!!

yesterday, i watched this documentary EARTHLINGS shown in our centre for ecological sciences... the documentary is all about how we, human beings are exploiting animals for different needs... food, meat, companionship etc... the whole documentary is divided into five different sections... i couldn't watch the whole documentary... in fact, i was really startled to see the way those animals are butchered/murdered just for fulfilling the food requirements of mankind... those are not even given anaesthesia before butchering... a documentary worth watching... i bet, anybody sensible enough can't eat non-vegetarian food with that liking after watching this documentary... it is really sickening to know that millions of animals are killed daily in USA itself just for supply of food...

PS: i've strongly decided to be vegetarian from now onwards!!! watch this documentary, and i bet you will feel the same!!!

marriage market...

it is second week of May and many people are getting married... a time for everybody to glitter in nice ornaments and jewellery... to meet relatives and friends... look for bride/groom for oneself... learning about relatives and relations... a time to celebrate and rejoice... marriage... a very important milestone in everybody's life, personally, socially, and in general, psychologically...

everytime i call my parents these days, they are mentioning about this or that marriage, immediately followed by the details about what that groom does, how he is, and how much he has taken as dowry!!! i still wonder how this custom of dowry, which started in rich class families as a gift to bride, has become a mandatory thing in almost all families... especially, in south indian states, this is too badly grown... it is OK from groom's side to accept some financial assistance from bride, in case he is not economically strong or able... ironically, the more the groom is able, the more they are demanding... it's something like 1:100 ratio... a person earning 30k per month needs 30 lakh as a gift... what the hell is this? that means, he is demanding the same amount of money which he can see only if he saves all his earnings (with the current rate) continuously for eight years!!! don't you think it is too pathetic? still ironic thing is that bride's side families are ready to give that lumpsome too (even if that is more than their capability)!!!

law also successfully failed to implement dowry law, because we lack that social concern... more than that, these customs are so deeply engrossed in people's mind set that we all feel like it's a natural process... many girls (i don't know what portion) whom i know, who are working in good firms and having enough educational background, still say that they are not sure if they will work after marriage because, it all depends on the groom's decision... why parents are moulding their daughters into such a dependent personalities?

if some boy says he doesn't like to take dowry, people are suspecting his manhood!!! this is another aspect of this brutal custom... the more the dowry, the more it gives fame in their local community people... why should the girl's parents wash the groom's feet for kanyadaan while groom's parents happily enjoy their stature of "groom's parents"?? is it just because of that non-deterministic probability of X and Y cromosomes which decides whether the kid is going to be male or female? if the bride is able enough and earning sufficiently more than the groom, will that groom's parents ready to wash that bride's feet?

not all our customs may be wrong... but, is there a single logical explaination for these silly things? when will our society grow up to abolish these nasty traditions? when will our parents agree for a love-marriage without asking caste/community/religion and dowry? when will the time come to delete the column "caste and religion" from applications? when will this marriage market be ended?

life is beautiful...

many times, i used to ask myself "why am i born?"... of course, i have never ended up with an answer!!! what a silly question "why am i born?"!!! i don't know whether my line of thinking is too silly or abstract, but this question has really bothered me a lot... considering the whole world as a big system with different elements, i am nowhere considerable/important as an individual!!! it doesn't matter much to this world about whether i am born/alive/dead... all of us are visitors to this planet with different class of tickets!!! i am not responsible for why i am born... i don't have any control over when/how i will die... what really matters is how/why i am living!!! I am the supreme in my own world of thinking (it must be the same case with everybody i guess)... i have the whole responsibility for my deeds... i am the creator/administrator for 'my world'...

in those days of distress, i feel like in hell and curse myself... and life looks just like hell... but, how does it turns into hell just because i am not OK with myself? it all depends on how i perceive the world/life... if i look at it with a positive perspective, it is beautiful and enthusiastic, it really is!!! otherwise, it sucks... why to cry on very few things when life has given all the more reasons to smile and rejoice? i feel/believe "life is beautiful"... friends, nature, beauty, work, studies, coffee, sleep, music, books, puzzles, writings, ice-creams etc. are there to keep me happy... i agree that there will be moments where we can't help being dull... but, remember it is only a phase... let us not make it bigger and make things worse to get out of!!! little-bit of patience, little-bit of love, little-bit of take-it-easy attitude, and a little-bit of care is enough to make life simpler and happier...

believe me... life is really beautiful!!!

PS: i have started blogging one year back with similar lines in my first post... happy birthday to my blog :-)

to learn how to swim, jump into the pool!!!

i was in my bed... dreaming... dreaming that you are with me... you were sitting besides me... on the same bench... resting your head on the desk... waiting for me to solve the problem... closing your eyes... you look so relaxed... that i am there to solve the things... i was looking into the pages... trying how best i can solve the problem... i did it... then i looked at you... at your cheeks... so smooth with a tinge of pink color... looked at your closed eyes... so innocent... so confident... i was wondering... what if you leave me someday... leaving me all alone... months rolled... and you left me... no, you didn't... time has brought these things... even before i noticed that... what happened next?... i don't know... don't know what am i doing... what am i supposed to do... don't know how to do even the simplest thing on the earth... what happened to me?... where is the energy gone?... what happened to my strengths?... all of them are with you... in you... leaving me as an empty shell... shell of no value... no beauty... no strength... days passed... passed like years... life became miserable... miserable without you... without you giving me the strength... the courage... the confidence... but still... life is going... going on... now i realized... realized that i should learn... learn to live alone... live alone with myself... an individual myself... strong... confident... bold... enthusiastic... and cheerful... those lonely nights... nights without sleep... sleeps without dreams... dreams without colors... colors without brightness... told me the truth... the truth that i should start... start living life... a beautiful life... colorful life... yes... i should... to learn swimming... i should jump into a pool... yes... i am in a pool now... learning how to live... how to live a life... without you... without anybody... with confidence... with liveliness... with energy... i know... i know it is hard... harder than anything... but still... i should... so am i!!!

the diary...

last night, i was feeling terribly bored and alone... started browsing my old diaries, which are neatly arranged from 2003 onwards... not all the pages are filled but, every page that is filled looked important... i went through some of good old memories, which made me laugh, cry, and finally silent...

i found some of the hotel bills that i 've paid during treat given by me to my girl friend for the first time, the movie tickets, and some of the letters... which includes a small slip saying i am an idiot but still lovable!!! the feeling is awsome... i don't really understand why people have really forgotten the beauty of hand-written letters... a mail reaches a computer, but a letter reaches the hands of our loved ones... the difference is large... we can hug a letter or a diary but not a mail or a computer... sometimes, i feel like i am crazy or over-sentimental... everything that i've shared with my loved ones always reminds me those wonderful days... how romantic is the song "kitni baatein yaad aati hai?"...

the diary is a reflection of our transition from the past to present... it never objects to what we write or feel... true sink for the whole bunch of feelings... it is the only thing that reminds us what we did in the past, how we were, and what decisions we have taken... only thing it demands is a little bit of patience and mood to visit it...

most of my diaries are presented by my friends... of course, if nobody presents, i will take them to some bookstore and make them buy for me... every year, i will buy one or two diaries to present to friends... a kind of selfish gift that we can spend... because, it brings your memory to those friends whenever they write their diary... i have already got one from krishna for the coming year... this year's diary is completely filled with mixed emotions... i must say that there is a clear transition in my personality from the start of the year to the date... hopefully, in a positive direction...

hoping that this habbit of writing diary will not die!!!

forgive and forget...

The single most important part of any love story is not the courting period, not the honeymoon phase or the actual relationship itself, but how it all ends. This determines your subsequent relationships and, of course, the rest of your life with questions raised like "Is this a rebound thing?" or "Is it a transitional fling?" or "How can you still love someone when you are not over with the other?"

So, before you get into another relationship: lay the ghosts to rest.

To draw a parallel with death, we bury the dead, have a mourning period, get it all out and then have a closing ceremony of sorts after a few days, and then get on with our lives, remembering the person once in a while, cherishing the good things and forgetting the bad because the bad does not matter any more. Now, that's a clue on what to do for closure in a relationship. First, it does not matter whose fault it was. Forgive and forget. Or if it was your fault, apologise and forget. A post mortem is useful. Separate the good things from the bad things. Think of it as the baggage you have to carry for the rest of your journey. Discard the heavy parts of the baggage you cannot share with your next companion. For which you need to resolve the incomplete questions: why did it happen to me? Or why did I mess it up? Or does moving on mean I didn't truly love him/her?

To resolve these questions, you could meet up with each other, remind him/her about the good things, thank him/her for it, do not bring up the bad and make sure to agree on one thing: That it was good till it lasted.

No bad feelings

Remember, this is the funeral. No bad feelings. And now it is time to move on. Agree to be friends who will smile at each other when you do bump in to each other. If the person has caused you so much hurt that you cannot possibly meet them face-to-face, email your feelings to them. Get it out of your system. But make sure you find three good things to say before you think of one bad thing.

Forgive. Unconditionally. Because, it does not matter whose fault it was. Death is death, heart attack or kidney failure or murder or suicide does not matter. The fact is you have to live without the other. You might meet each other someday and the ghosts would come back if not exorcised.

So perform the final rites. Delete the messages that weigh you down and remind you about the great tragedy. Take the gifts out of the cupboard and keep them out with your other stuff. And do this slowly and steadily, take your time. There is a good enough reason why there's a feast at the end of 13 days after a funeral.

After which, date people with an open mind. Not that you simply have to. Meeting new people just adds a new dimension to your life.

Forget the scars of the previous relationship. If you do keep talking about the scars, you stand a good chance to scratch them or open them up while discussing them. No person you date will appreciate you talking so much about the previous relationship. It could either ruin your current relationship or worse, make your date support the other and argue with you on who was right and who was wrong.

Forgetting is possible only if you forgive. Unconditionally. Just like the key to a relationship lies in giving. Unconditionally.

PS:this article is taken from yesterday's metro plus of hindu.

The quarter-life crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

PS: Author is unknown, I got this through one of my best friends! And, it really touched me.

happy independence day!!!

we have successfully completed 59 years of independence and celebrating 60th independence day... i must confess that i missed flag hoisting this time too... i am not quite sure whether my doubt is valid or not, but, it always troubles me... are we really enjoying the freedom? if the answer is yes, are we doing justice to our responsibilities?

on an auspicious day like this... a day meant to celebrate freedom... we are scared to go outside... almost half of the shops and eating outlets are closed in the city... more than half of the services which are available on ordinary days are not available today!!! may be, this is a strange way to celebrate freedom?? i dont know... i am sorry if i am hurting anybody's feelings... rather, i am trying to put my views here!!!

coming to the next part of the question... are we doing minimum justice to our responsibilities? how many of us are utilising the right to vote? how many of us are maintaining civic sense while eating in public places like parks, road sides etc? how many of us are really happy about being in this country?

inspite of all these questions, it is indeed a happy independence day as we didnt encounter any disastrous incident this time!!!

celebrating friendship!!!

it's a little late that i am writing about friendship here... already one week after 'friendship day' this year!!! i strongly feel that there can't be a unique definition for this wonderful relation... some say it's the rainbow between two hearts... others say it's a beautiful garden where people can break their barriers and share anything and everything!!! as a matter of fact, all these definitions, in one way or the other, tell about the beauty of friendship...

i too have received some messages containing beautiful quotes about friendship and also saying one is soo lucky to have me as friend... but, i wonder whether do we really have that honesty or sincerity in this relationship? is friendship all about sending beautiful messages (which are absolutely free!!!) without really meaning them?? right from the school days, we share our feelings and things with somebody... and that somebody keeps changing with time depending upon circumstances... as days progress, we slowly forget where the old friends are!!! in fact, we often scratch our head to recollect some of their names too!!!

i feel the real beauty of friendship (in fact, any relationship) lies in how comfortable and honest we are in understanding each other... it's more beautiful when there is interdependence rather than dependence or independence on each other... it's brightened when you surprise your friend by solving his/her problem without their knowledge... it's enriched when we offer a friendly shoulder to support when they are in pain... it's highlighted when we rediscover ourselves in presence of the other person... it's celebrated when we forget our ego and and identify the alter-ego in that friend!!!

friendship is not a matter of one day... it's forever... let's celebrate it with our good friends all the time!!!

bridging the communication gap...

communication gap!!! one of the most uneasy phase in any relationship... sometimes, even in a relation which was thought to be having an ideal match of wave-length, it so happens that the feelings are not conveyed properly to the other party... in fact, sometimes, they are conveyed exactly in the opposite sense... the reasons may be so many!!! each thinks in his/her own way and comes to some kind of conclusion which may not be right... there could be a phase difference in the thoughts of both... the gap slowly accumulates and reaches a point where the two are at so long distance to each other and life looks just like a trash bin!!!

is there any solution for this problem? certainly, yes!!! either we should extend a friendly hand or be ready to accept the same from the other... things can be sorted out by discussing with a cool and open mind... of course, there is a problem of ego everywhere... sometimes, losing ego can be so embarrassing... but, at the end of the day, the happiness of being together is so beautiful and pleasant... so, why this gap? let's lose our ego and bridge the gap to build a colourful and healthy relationship!!!

someone like you...

there are few things sadder in this life than watching somebody walk away from you after they have left you; watching the distance between your bodies expand until nothing is left except the empty space and silence.

This is a dialogue by Jane, a character from the movie 'someone like you', when her loved partner leaves her and walks away. I dont know exactly why i remembered these lines but sometimes i feel these lines are nothing but true. I wonder how can anybody break the promise made to their partner and choose their own path. Dont they retrospect their behavior and respect the relation at all? What happens to the one who was left behind? What happens to the colourful and happiest world imagined between the so called 'soulmates'?

Certainly, the phrase "nothing lasts forever" proves its existence and irony everywhere. Time heals the wound, but not completely. One can take some time for coming out of the phase of self-pity, and build from the zero based state, and ultimately to a comfort zone. There may be so many good (in fact better) friends in that zone. But, somewhere somehow, when the sky is so clear and pleasant, the breeze is so cool, the memories of the broken relation just rush in. A painful pleasure or a pleasant pain, whatever it may be, will make one confused. The trauma prevails for a while, and fades away in the day-to-day hectic life! The cycle repeats!! After all, pain is a part of life which nobody can escape!!!

Isn't the ultimate bliss to find Someone exactly like you??

dont look how it looks outside.. try to look what is in it...

once, a businessman is in loss and in deep distress. on his birthday, his little daughter came to him and presented a neatly packed box as a gift. the man accepted it while cursing her for spending so much money on the gift in the time of loss. when he opened the box, he found nothing in that. immediately, he got angry and slapped his daughter. and said that you should not gift an empty box to anybody. then the daughter, wiping her tears, told her father that she has kept so many kisses of her in that box. the father realised the real concern of his daughter and hugged her with joy.

never just decide upon anything based on how it looks from outside. come to a conclusion only when you know what is in it!!

life is beautiful... isn't it?

most frequently asked question... "how is life?" instantaneous reply is "it's just going?" do we really ask ourselves where it is going? do we really have an answer for that? if life is just going, why do we let it go just like that?
well.. i feel that the very cause of our disappointment lies in our perspective of life. after all, the world is how you look. all of us are blessed with some or other inherent ability to succeed in life. but, most of the time, we didn't realise that the very purpose of life is to enjoy life than just let it go with no effort. is there any solution for this? yeah, may be a simple realisation can do. what matters most is how you see yourself. we can look at ourselves coming out from ourselves and analyse the things, find the root cause of our problem and act in a constructive way. there are many more things in life to get involved and relish the taste. beauty of nature, poetry, music, movies, kids, and ultimately ourselves.
don't you think life is beautiful??